The Astrology Blog 18 November 2019
“Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.”
“Self worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.”
– Dr Wayne Dyer, author of Your Erroneous Zones, one of the best-selling books of all time, 35 million copies sold to date
I could fill the next fifty blogs with Wayne Dyer quotes but the first one I chose for this week is possibly the best definition I’ve ever read of what unconditional love really means. Putting it another way, the opposite to unconditional love is control, ie imposing terms and conditions. The moment we insist that someone treats us in a particular way, the moment we insist that someone else “should” do/be/say whatever, is the moment that we’re appropriating that other person’s journey as our own. That’s the moment that we hijack them, the moment we become their emotional stowaway. Or vice versa.
The second quote is equally piercing. Hands up who has never battled with self esteem issues? If we enter our adult life without self worth firmly embedded it can be very hard to acquire it. It’s not like an operation, no surgeon can open us up and put it there, like an implant. But Wayne Dyer has a way of telling it how it is, showing us just how simple healing can be. In a non blaming way he reminds us that nobody else is responsible for our happiness, even though many of us – all of us? – are brought up to believe the opposite. Here’s another gem –
“Maxim for life: You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you.”
There is no better time for changing the way you think, or the way you teach or relate, than when Mercury the mind planet is turning direct. And as this turnaround is happening in Scorpio – sign of mystery, magic, psychic abilities or moments, the unconscious, our own underworld, our deepest and earliest imprinting, therapy, sex and, yes, power and control issues of all kinds – there’s an unmistakable link between a deeper understanding and empowerment, of the self and/or of another.
As I’ve written many times in this blog we are NOT responsible for anyone else’s feelings or happiness, we are responsible only for our own. This doesn’t mean that we should cut off from others and all stand alone. Here are two stories from last week that capture this point and the Mercury/Scorpio themes. One was a guy who finally decided to let his partner know how deeply upset he was at their lack of sexual contact. The ice age had set in years ago but it just goes to show that it’s never too late. When he valued himself enough to say, and mean it, that he no longer wished to live this way, constantly pulling back from the intimacy he craved, the thaw set in and everything changed. When I asked him how he felt now he said simply, “I’m very happy.” When was the last time you heard someone say that, or when was the last time you said this about yourself?
The second story concerns a mum and daughter relationship. The daughter is experiencing real and serious problems, but her mother’s heartfelt desire to help and to be involved backfired. The only result was that she distanced herself even further, saying that she knew how much she was loved but didn’t want her mother “to interfere”. There is probably no greater fear than the fear of something bad happening to those we love the most, and probably no greater anxiety than dealing with that something bad when it actually happens. The hurt of rejection on top of that is huge. But the words that resonated with the mum the most were when I said, “let her swim, but be her lighthouse.”
The Time is Right
Mercury is now “stationing”, getting ready to switch direction in the middle of this week, an event that lies at the heart of other big changes. This all feels like the 8 of Wands in the Tarot, the card that indicates movement and progress not because of anything we consciously do but simply because the time is right. It’s like a big cosmic foot coming off the brake pedal. Even those who know little or nothing about astrology identify with Mercury being retrograde – even friends who don’t follow the blog will ask me, is Mercury retrograde at the moment? Thought so! – and here’s a message from yet another Scorpio friend received at the weekend –
Well I was going to catch up with you next week to tell you all our retrograde holiday happenings. But we are now stuck in Italy with serious car problems. And it’s the weekend so everything is closed. We have an appointment for Monday morning. It’s been a niggly trip. I’m never planning a trip again before consulting you, ever!
Hopefully Mercury’s trickery with transport and communication has now done its worst, but maybe I shouldn’t say that too loudly.
It’s always worth noting exactly what happens at or close to significant moments. As we approach Wed evening you’ll probably find that you’re already tuning in to a new wavelength, to yourself, to others, to events unfolding around you, or that plans are starting to take shape. If part of your script is, “I deserve better”, then the answer to that is yes, you do. In the movie of your life you are the lead player, not second billing.
If there are rumblings of discontent, in any area of your life, then take heart. It’s never too late to make changes and start afresh. I had another conversation this weekend with a friend who has been talking for as long as I can remember about giving up her day job and doing her spiritual work full time, only this time it emerged that she had always thought that she would know “the right time” when it came because it would “be easy”. We made a big shift in her perception. It is not because she’s “not ready”. She’s been ready for ages, and has satisfied clients to prove it. In her own words, “so I just need to get off my arse and do it.” Yes! And making changes are always easier than we imagine once we get started.
This links powerfully to a question we must always ask ourselves when we’re not getting what we want or if a relationship is going wrong, which is, “What is my part in this?” In the stories above the answers to that question were something along the lines of tolerating unloving behavior and lack of intimacy to the extent that it became the norm, wanting to protect a child with actions and involvement rather than trusting just to unconditional love which is the one need that everything else boils down to, procrastination through fear of losing the security of regular income, even though that income is small and even though she hates the job, and a fear of not being “good enough” to offer her services professionally. It’s fascinating how we are all complicit in our own frustrations and how things shift when we get out of our own way.
Astrologically it’s also fascinating to me that the three people in my stories this week all lack the element of fire amongst their personal planets (Sun through to Saturn). And two of them are Scorpios and the other has a dominant planet in Scorpio. The other thing they all have in common is emotional courage, which is a Scorpio positive. But there’s also a message here generally. If you feel stuck seek out your fiery friends. Fire people are good at risk taking, intuition and inspiring. They can fire you up and help you to get things started, they know how to light a fuse.
Venus links Saturn/Pluto
The week starts with a minor aspect but I include it because Venus made the same aspect to Saturn (last Friday 15th), as Saturn and Pluto themselves are now well on track for their meeting, at 22.46 Capricorn on 12 January.
Monday 18 November
- Venus 21 Sagittarius semi-sextile Pluto 21 Capricorn 21.24 GMT
The closer Saturn and Pluto get, the more the faster moving planets will play into that conjunction and underline it. In real terms that indicates that whatever is destined to come to an end, at least in its current form, has a timeline that is probably starting around now, possibly even earlier. The time is right for troubleshooting if you see love or money problems already in the making. In and of itself the Venus – Pluto is not the most cheerful of combinations, given that Venus is love, money and pleasures, and Pluto is the wipe out expert. But it’s good for self denial if that’s needed, and for self reliance. And it’s also good for psychic insights, your own or someone else’s.
Mars’ change of sign is also ideal for taking more control –
Tuesday 19 November
- Mars ingress Scorpio 07.41 GMT
Sunday 24 November
- Mars 3 Scorpio opposite Uranus 3 Taurus 16.51 GMT
From a traditional point of view this is good news as Mars exits Libra, one of his signs of detriment, and enters Scorpio, one of his signs of dignity (the other one being Aries). No more Mr Nice Guy. Mars is going to be travelling through this sign until 3 January so I’ll be talking a lot more about this “toughen up” combination in the coming weeks.
For now note that the action planet is starting a powerful new cycle and that this definitely fits in with the themes of things moving on. Mars in deep feeling Scorpio knows all about stirring up desire, and determination of the “where there’s a will there’s a way” variety is a definite hallmark. Secondly, however, as the weekend draws nearer Mars will waste little time in making his presence felt as his first meeting is a dustup with rebellious, ready or not Uranus. This is pressure cooker stuff and if you feel as if you want to explode then find a safe way to do it and let off some steam!
On the subject of safety Mars is speed, anything sharp and anything hot, so there’s a higher risk of accidents. Extra vigilance for children or the infirm is a must but we can all take heed to do things more slowly. Uranus is the unexpected – that idiot overtaking on the wrong side of the road, road works that divert you to the long way around, power cuts, technology problems – allow extra time and think ahead. It’s also the stuff of everything getting turned upside down so, in spite of Mercury turning direct, nothing is yet written in stone. Or it may be that the information that surfaces with Mercury’s turnaround will be part of a big change of plan – or heart. There’s definitely a lot of ingredients being flung into the boiling pot, we’ll just have to see how the recipe turns out!
Wednesday 20 November
- Mercury turns direct at 11.35 Scorpio 19.13 GMT
If there are times in our lives when everything seems to conspire to make things go wrong (retrograde Mercury) then by definition there are times when everything conspires to make things go right (direct Mercury) or at least to sort out the mess! Watch out for moments of Serendipity – meaning “unexpected discovery” or “fortunate chance” or Synchronicity – meaningful coincidence. Life is full of magic.
Getting to the positive stuff, do you remember I wrote last week that the best time of the retrograde period is the 6 hours of cazimi, when Mercury is conjunct the Sun to within 17 minutes of arc (ie just over a quarter of a degree) and therefore in “the heart of the Sun”. I wrote that “in that hot spot is a golden nugget of truth or a lifeline of help.” This was exact last Monday from about 12.30 to 6.30pm and I deliberately paid close attention in that afternoon so that I could report back.
I had a phone appointment with a student, one that we’d tried to schedule on several other days but ended up happening on the cazimi afternoon, and in the course of our conversation she solved my accommodation problem for next April in London. This was huge for me as I had been thinking of cancelling the trip. I then popped out to the local shops and drove straight into the guy I needed to fix the leaking roof. He hadn’t been returning my calls, but he then miraculously turned up at the house less than an hour later with a pair of helping hands and they got the job done. So I got the practical help I needed immediately, and I got the lifeline help that I will need in 5 months time.
Similarly, I put mostly a positive spin on Mercury turning direct, even though the final few days (between now and Wed evening) can often deliver a final trick or kick. However, once Mercury swaps his trickster’s hat for the magician’s or the news maker, it’s the beginning of an upward spiral, and we don’t have to wait for Mercury to move “out of shadow” (which will be 7 Dec, and that can bring its own news).
This checklist has been compiled from long experience of watching how things unfold at these times, in my own life and that of my friends, family, students, clients and also out in the world. As above, so below, look for the turning point. Engage fully with who or what springs back to life, especially with who or what is motivational for you.
What to Expect
Here’s the usual checklist of the kinds of things and themes to expect, now and in the coming couple of weeks:
- Rumours are squashed when the truth outs (unless you’re Prince Andrew. Interview pre-recorded while Mercury was most definitely retro in Scorpio, giving us his version of the truth, nobody believes him, oops!)
- We identify the things that, with some renewed energy and a fresh approach, can come good
- Breaking news, expected or unexpected, good or bad, that affects us or someone close to us
- Important information comes to light or secrets are revealed – we have the chance to see things as they really are
- Light bulb flashes of “I get it now” type insights – including changing our minds about something that we had previously really wanted
- We stop talking/thinking about something and realize that we need TO DO IT or make decisions to pave the way
- People get back to us re decisions and deals get done
- We get back in touch with someone, or they get back in touch with us, including situations in which there’s been a deafening silence
- We feel more courageous or determined to pursue our true wishes
- We stop pretending or avoiding
- We replace fantasy with fact and find better or more workable options
- We tackle/say the things we’ve been putting off
- We get back to a matter that was first important three weeks ago
- We’re free to travel or do our own thing
- Memory kicks in and we deal with what or who has been off our radar
- Disputes or areas of miscommunication are cleared up
- We find the right person to deal with the problem beyond our own expertise
- Computer glitches/communication technology are solved/sorted
- We find what we have been looking for – from lost objects to spiritual needs
Loving the look of the coming weekend. The Sun enters larger than life, big thinking and fun loving Sagittarius. Party hats on, generosity begins, as the Sun’s change of sign marks being a month away from Xmas.
Jupiter is on his last leg through the same sign, having been in his own sign of Sag all year (moves into Capricorn 2 December) but before he goes Venus catches up with him. So this conjunction of the “benefics” falls at the very end of Sag. To put this in perspective these two unite approx once a year, and the next one won’t be until Feb 2021 in Aquarius. So we can count this applying (moving towards exactitude) conjunction for the whole week, not just the middle of Sunday –
Friday 22 November
- Sun ingress Sagittarius 15.00 GMT
Sunday 24 November
- Venus conjunct Jupiter 28 Sagittarius 13.35 GMT
This union is always good news in that it’s joyful. In addition this has the feel of a last chance opportunity, 11th hour luck or something coming together at the last minute, possibly something you’d actually given up on. It’s the closing of a cycle but in a positive and celebratory way. It’s ideal for Christmas plans, especially if you want to travel. Jupiter rules freedom too so it’s liberation as well as “seize the moment” chances, which for some will arrive with fireworks given that the Mars – Uranus follows only three hours later!
Next week it will be Venus’ turn to change sign, on the same day as the New Moon, and Neptune will turn direct.
Until then, with love from Greece